


promise not to stop when i say when

by jinheoney



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Harassment, only in the beginning though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25121236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinheoney/pseuds/jinheoney
Summary: “If you want to be a hero so bad, why aren’t you helping me out here?” Mark knows it’s just a joke, but he scrambles to get up and help anyway.“Sorry,” he mumbles, bending over to grab the books already in Yuta’s hands, plus the couple left lying on the ground.“I was just kidding, Superman,” Yuta whispers as he gets up from the ground. Mark feels a blush spread across his neck as Yuta stares at him.Something about this small interaction feels like too much. Something about Yuta tells Mark he’s in over his head.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	promise not to stop when i say when

**Author's Note:**

> hello jess here aka @jinheoney on twt,
> 
> a couple of things before we get into the first chapter!!
> 
> this fic is going to go in depth with some different types of abuse, how it effects certain characters and how it’s dealt with. that will be later on and i’ll make sure to notate when we start getting more into that. please read with caution if those things are triggering to you!!
> 
> i’m using this as more of a way to handle my own past trauma and abuse. you will see some depictions of toxic relationships that cause this abuse and in no way am i glorifying it.
> 
> i also want to say, anyone who has been in a toxic relationship or dealt with abuse of any kind, you are a survivor. if you have endured, or are enduring it- you are an incredibly strong person and i hope that you remember that every day. if you ever need an ear to listen, my dms are always open.
> 
> this first chapter includes a fight scene with a brief talk of blood in the beginning but that is the only part !! 
> 
> if i missed any tags, please feel free to let me know!!
> 
> and just for marissa, i named the bar blue heaven as a reminder of us making fun of my dad. 
> 
> title from everlong by the foo fighters
> 
> unbeta’d so bear with me
> 
> feedback and comments always welcome

Mark felt like the biggest idiot, wearing a leather jacket in the midst of summer. He’s overheated to the point that sweat is sticking to his nape, and the alcohol he’s downed in the past hour isn’t helping. The feeling simmering in his gut is also making the heat worse. It’s not often that Mark gets riled up. If he thinks about it hard enough, he can probably count all instances he’s gotten angry on one hand. Mark’s not a fan of anger for a number of reasons. It makes him feel vulnerable, exposed in a way that everyone can see exactly how he’s feeling. He also has to put all of his energy towards his anger, and it just leaves him feeling drained after.

That’s why it comes as a surprise when Mark gets up from his seat at the bar to punch some guy across the jaw. He was sitting with Donghyuck and Jaehyun, waiting for Taeil and Yukhei to show up. It was College Wednesday at Blue Heaven, and Johnny was bartending. Mark would usually be alongside him, but he was given the week off for his birthday.

Mark had just finished a couple summer courses to help him free up some time this semester. Junior year was supposed to be the biggest workload, so Mark was doing everything to help himself. He got lucky enough to have friends that either live in the area or stayed back for summer classes, so he didn’t have to spend his summer alone. He missed his mom terribly, feeling his heart ache when he told her his decision to stay at school for the summer. She understood and was supportive, but Mark could hear the tremble in her voice when she told him she loved him.

A grunt from the guy he punched brings Mark back to the present. The guy, _Asshole_ , Mark names him in his head, pops his neck then looks at Mark.

“What the fuck was that for, prick?” Asshole shouts at him. Mark doesn’t answer, choosing to punch him square in the face. He feels the crunch under his fist, most likely breaking Asshole’s nose. When he pulls his fist away, there’s blood gushing from Asshole’s nose. The guy staggers back, reaching to hold his face.

 _Good, he deserves it_ , Mark thinks. In his peripheral vision, he sees Johnny jumping the bar to approach them. Mark turns and sees Donghyuck and Jaehyun standing shocked where he left them, but he can now see Yukhei and Taeil have joined them. Donghyuck comes over to him first, yelling and ready to raise hell.

“What the fuck, Mark Lee?” He’s so distracted by Donghyuck he doesn’t see the guy reach out for him. Luckily, Johnny is already there to stop it.

“If you touch him, I will not hesitate to break every fucking bone in your body,” Johnny seethes. Asshole scowls at him, then backs away. Johnny makes a gesture to the bouncer, Chanyeol, who then goes to accompany the guy out and Mark stays watching until they see him leave.

“Are you going to tell us what the fuck that was?” Donghyuck tries again. Mark ignores them in favor of making his way towards the reason he got so riled up. Johnny saw everything that happened anyway, leaving him to explain to their friends.

There’s a guy sitting at the bar, staring at Mark stunned. He’s pretty, Mark notes, glitter on his eyelids and lips looking bitten red. He’s wearing a mesh top with tight, leather pants riding low on his hips. He’s got both nipples and his belly button pierced, and his skin looks so soft even though he has some clearly defined muscles. But how pretty he is has nothing to do with Mark’s actions.

“Are you okay?” Mark checks over the guy, trying to assess the damage.

“I could have dealt with him myself,” the guy gives Mark an unimpressed look, clearly not happy with how Mark handled the situation.

“Look, I wasn’t going to just sit around and ignore the fact that this guy had the nerve to grab you by the jaw and start getting aggressive after you told him no,” Mark sees the fingerprints on pretty boys cheek and neck, starting to bruise. “I would have done the same thing if it was anyone else, even if I do think you can handle yourself.”

The guy gives him a once over, eyebrow raised at him.

“Yuta,” he finally tells a puzzled Mark.

“What?” The guy is smirking at him, amused by Mark’s confusion.

“My name,” he says patting the seat next to him for Mark to join him. He’s got a glint in his eye that Mark’s choosing to ignore. Mark doesn’t miss the way Yuta’s legs open a little wider, and his smile turns coy.

Mark considers it, but he’s just not the type. Mark doesn’t date and he certainly doesn’t sleep around. It feels wrong to assume thats what Yuta wants, but he’d rather turn him down then give him the incorrect idea.

So instead he offers, “Why don’t you come join me and my friends?” He turns to his friends who are back to their original spot, drinking and laughing like nothing happened.

He looks back at Yuta, who smiles at him with that same glint in his eye. It’s unnerving, making Mark feel like he knows something that Mark doesn’t. Yuta agrees, grabbing his drink and following behind Mark until they reach the other boys.

Yukhei grabs Mark by the shoulders, yelling “My Hero!” to a chorus of cheers from all of the other boys. Johnny laughs at them from where he’s busy making some drinks for a group of girls a few seats away. Mark blushes under the praise, even though Donghyuck starts scolding him.

“You have no idea how scared I was you were going to get your ass beat,” Donghyuck whines around his straw, something blue and fruity in his cup. From experience Mark knows his drink tastes nothing like alcohol, the most dangerous kind of drink. After Donghyuck’s had a couple he’ll be a mess of tears, crying about how much he loves Mark. He’ll choose to deal with that later, or leave Yukhei and Taeil to handle it.

Jaehyun buys Mark a beer, just patting his back while he talks to Yuta and gets him a drink as well. Mark feels out of place in his skin, and exhausted from the fight. He settles in his spot and joins Taeil and Yukhei’s conversation about the upcoming basketball season. Yukhei being the captain of the team made him a little more cocky about their future, but Mark had to admit they were a decent team.

After a while, Mark feels the hair on the back of his neck prick. He turns to see Yuta eyeing him from where he’s talking to Donghyuck about who knows what, something like interest in his expression. He ignores it in favor of talking to Jaehyun and Johnny about the fall semester and their schedules. He doesn’t feel the gaze leave him until they part their ways for the night.

~

Classes start and Mark becomes busier than he’s ever been in his life. Logically, he knew that majoring in biomedical science and double minoring in humanities and psychology would be difficult, but nothing could have prepared him for the fact most nights he gets around four hours of sleep. He spends majority of his nights in the library or working until 4 am. At least he was smart enough to not take any early morning classes this semester.

It’s 2 am and he’s sitting at a table in the second floor of the library. There was one other person besides the student working and himself when he got up to stretch his legs two hours ago, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he was alone right now. He’s been dozing off for the better half of the last hour, but he has to finish this paper. If he doesn’t now, then he won’t have time to revise with his upcoming work schedule. He knew it was a bad idea picking up extra shifts, but he doesn’t like relying on his parents for spending money. He’s too prideful to ask for help, so he subjects himself to little sleep and exhaustion.

His eyes are closed, head pillowed on his arms when he’s startled awake. He hears a bang and a curse, turning around and seeing none other than Yuta kneeling by a bookcase nearby. By the looks of it, he dropped a couple books while he was trying to reach for one. Mark watches him attempt to pick them all up, then freezes when Yuta turns and makes eye contact with him.

“If you want to be a hero so bad, why aren’t you helping me out here?” Mark knows it’s just a joke, but he scrambles to get up and help anyway.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, bending over to grab the books already in Yuta’s hands, and the few left on the floor.

“I was just kidding Superman,” Yuta whispers as he gets up from the ground. Mark feels a blush spread across his neck as Yuta stares at him.

Something about this small interaction feels like too much. Something about Yuta tells Mark he’s in over his head.

Mark clears his throat, turning to put away the books he’s picked up. He’s standing on his tiptoes, reaching as high as he can. He feels a little silly, because Yuta and him are the same height, yet he’s the one taking control of the situation again. He asks Yuta what book he needed, but when he twists to look at Yuta, he sees his eyes on the sliver of skin exposed between his sweatpants and hoodie. He moves his arm down and falls flat on the floor, feeling shy.

Yuta looks up losing the view of Mark’s skin, no embarrassment of being caught shown on his face. He just picks up the book in his hands and looks at it pointedly.

“Oh,” Mark clears his throat, and scratches the back of his head. He pulls on his earlobe, which is his nervous tell. He just doesn’t know why he’s so nervous.

Since the incident at the bar, he’s noticed Yuta around campus a lot more. It’s a surprise he’s never seen him before, but now Yuta’s everywhere. Thee most shocking thing was finding out Yuta’s the captain of the soccer team, which his friends Jeno and Jaemin are on. He’s gone to soccer games to support them, so it’s strange he never noticed him before.

Yuta’s impossible not to notice. He oozes confidence from every pore. He’s attractive and he knows it. He also has a “take no bullshit” attitude that keeps people intrigued in him. Mark doesn’t know what to make of him, but it’s not like he’s trying to. Mark keeps him an arms length away, and Yuta sees right through it but allows it anyway.

“It’s pretty late for you to be here,” Yuta tells him, after following Mark to the table he’s set up at. Mark figures it’s late, and he’s not going to manage finishing his paper tonight. He starts packing up his stuff into his backpack, missing the pout Yuta sends his way.

“Leaving so soon?” Yuta asks Mark, after settling in his seat. Mark looks up at Yuta and feels something clench in his chest that he refuses to acknowledge. He didn’t get a chance to really take in Yuta’s appearance before, but now he’s having trouble looking away. Yuta has his blonde hair in a loose half pony tail, round wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. He’s wearing a white tank top with a cream cardigan on top that’s way too big for him, but looks comfortable. His grey sweatpants are a little short, but somehow the look works on him. He’s opened the book he came for and has his laptop open, looking between Mark and the document he’s opened up.

“Um,” Mark feels at a loss for words, the night starting to get to him. “Yeah, I was working on a paper I really need to finish, but I’ve been falling asleep for the last hour. It’s probably best I just head home instead.”

Yuta looks at him inquisitively, while Mark burns under his gaze.

“Take a twenty minute nap,” Yuta starts getting up. “I’m gonna go by the cafe down the street and get us some coffee and snacks and I’ll keep you up until you finish.”

Mark opens his mouth to argue, but Yuta gives him a silencing look.

“It’s the least I can do, Mark Lee.”

Mark can’t argue that, so instead he sits back down and puts his arms back on the desk. He watches Yuta leave, using his arms as a pillow. Yuta turns around to look at him one more time as he gets to the stairs.

“Sleep, Mark. I’ll be right back,” He smiles at Mark, making his chest feel warm.

Mark closes his eyes and falls into a dreamless nap.

**Author's Note:**

> twt- @jinheoney  
> curiouscat- curiouscat.me/jinheoney


End file.
